Menopausal Symptoms – Born From Societal Imbalance

Menopausal Symptoms - Born From Societal Imbalance

The menopausal hot flushes are back.

 

With a vengeance.

 

They rise like a tsunami of heat – followed seconds later by intense sweating in my body’s desperate attempt to cool down.

 

Then the chills set in – as the heat leaves I’m left with a coldness that penetrates – bone deep.

 

I can manage it just about during the day  – but the nights – well that’s another story.

 

Night after night of broken sleep.

 

Hot

 

Cold

 

Hot

 

Cold

 

My feet search for the cool spot in the bed – and sleep feels so tantalisingly near – but the frozen lands of the chills shock me back into alertness as I try to find some part of me that feels warm enough – to rest into.

 

Night after night.

 

Asleep

 

Awake

 

Asleep

 

Awake

 

Awake

 

Awake

 

I cycle through the darkness of night – longing for rest.

 

Last night was 10 cycles – most nights I loose count.

 

I’m not looking for your suggestions.

 

Research is my thing.

 

My cupboards are brimming with herbs and supplements – my diary full of appointments with alternative practitioners.

 

Six years into this transition – I’ve read most menopausal books and websites available.

 

Yet I find myself burning thorough my nights deep in the inferno.

 

My younger female friends look worried – they can see what’s coming.

 

I tell them – save your money – you’ll need to pay for support.

 

The societal imbalance.

There are no state provided midwives to guide you into this next phase of womanhood.

 

Why?

 

It’s not considered important.

 

Instead our culture pretends its not happening.

 

Because menopause is an economic inconvenience.

 

In the fractured nights I dream of a different way – where this initiation was culturally held.

 

Where I’d been prepared.

 

Where I’d planned to, both financially and emotionally, take solid time out to be quiet and still.

 

Where there was a circle of wisdom – of elders who could guide the way.

 

Where I didn’t need to educate to be understood.

 

And I feel it – a tide – of women – exhausted – but no longer willing to be ignored.

 

Whose voices will be heard.

 

As we call for change.

 

As our cyclic bodies crack within the linear systems we live in – as the pressure to perform, produce and look pretty – while every part of our bodies are screaming a resolute NO.

 

I’m going to be controversial.

 

Menopausal symptoms  – are the consequence of being out of right-relationship with life, they are the rebellion of our bodies towards living in a toxic system, where patriarchy, white supremacy, racism, ageism, ableism and all the other ism’s dominate. They are a product of a lifetime of living in power over structures, where violence against women is normalised, where women’s bodies are treated as derivative rather than complex, sensitive barometers capable of measuring the health of our people, our environment and our world.

 

Menopause is the wake up call for humanity and its intensity is in direct relationship to how we treat life – in all its forms.

 

And to all my sisters reading this please know that your voice – no matter how small it feels right now – matters. Know that your contribution to dismantling these systems of oppression is important – however inconsequential you may feel. And know that the choices you make to speak out today craft the world of the future – where your grandchildren will live – in gratitude for the day you found your voice.

 

I’m with you – we’ve got this – one step at a time.