Joy, Love and Connection are the way Forward


I realise what I’m about to say may sound like spiritual bypassing or that I’ve gone all woo on you all but bear with me!

Access to feelings of joy, love, and connection are the prerequisites for doing your healing work, especially when you are dealing with trauma.


Feelings of love, joy and connection provide an inner safe resource. Attempting to do your healing work without this safe harbour to return to is a bit like rock climbing without a rope. One ‘mistake’ and down you go into the washing machine of nervous system dysregulation, emotional flooding, and inner critic attack.

And we all know how destabilising that is.

In my past addiction to intensity I used to think that surviving the washing machine brought about healing but what I came to realise was this was just another survival state that I had to crawl my way out of, it was exhausting and didn’t change anything.

By learning to anchor myself, at least temporarily, into states of joy, love and connection, I actually felt resourced enough to DECIDE how much of my trauma I was going to feel in any given moment.

This was like rock climbing but with a harness and all the necessary gear attached to the rock face, so any fall was minor, and I was 100% supported.

In the trauma healing world we call this resourcing. We start in resource, then we pendulate (swing) into difficulty and then we choose how long we are going to spend in that difficulty (titration) before coming back to resource.

This is the true journey of healing because it builds your resilience and grows your capacity to feel and be with what arises.

Resourcing allows us to anchor enough in regulation to do the trauma healing work we’re showing up for.

This work of accessing joy, love and connection so that we can ultimately anchor ourselves in enough regulation to truly heal is what we do in my course Anchored in Regulation.

Join the waitlist here.

Photo by MI PHAM on Unsplash.