Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot
I’ve been supporting women to grow into their sexual aliveness for many years and the most common challenges I see them face is either resolving their trauma and/ or not having a comprehensive understanding and experience of their own pleasure anatomy.
Yes I said female ejaculation – not male.
One of the misnomers I’ve come across is the idea that only men can ejaculate – its’ not true. Women have the anatomical structures that enable ejaculation whether its happened to them or not.
So why are so many women unaware of this possible pleasure portal?
Essentially sex education is all about how to not get pregnant and how to avoid catching a sexually transmitted disease – there is little or nothing about pleasure. The only reason male ejaculation is mentioned is because of its role in conception.
In anatomy books describing female sexual anatomy we’ll often see the following:
Her prostate gland is missing
The structure of the clitoris is reduced to the small bump of nerve endings that protrudes from the vaginal opening
Her ability to ejaculate isn’t mentioned
Her ability to have pleasure is reduced and limited in this paradigm
She is seen as an object that reproduces and gives life rather than a divinely sensuous being with the capacity to experience infinite pleasure.
With this poor education we’re left to find out for ourselves how sex works and when that ignorance is combined with shame, repression and guilt – all of which are coupled with sex at the level of our society and religions then finding our pleasure can be a little like finding the elusive needle in a haystack.
So let me shine some light on this topic for those of you who are curious and interested in more pleasure.
Female ejaculation is every woman’s birthright as we all have the anatomical structures, including the G-spot and prostate gland that enable it. In the diagram below you can see a finger inside the vaginal canal pressing against the anterior wall – this is the area commonly called the G-spot. As a woman becomes aroused the tissue around the urethra becomes engorged (plumped up with blood) making it more sensitive to touch. With continued touch the area becomes full with prostatic fluid from the prostate gland – through a process of osmosis – and its this liquid which can release in the form of ejaculation as the woman’s arousal continues. It leaves the body through the paraurethral glands situated either side of the urethral opening and through the vaginal canal – this is what we call female ejaculation.
After ejaculation women may report a higher level of vulvar moisture or a wet patch on the bed – the quantity and size of which can vary considerably from a thimble to a cup full of liquid. However as female ejaculation isn’t commonly understood – some women fear they’ve experienced urinary incontinence and slip into shame and preventing future ‘accidents’ from happening by contracting and holding back future releases while reducing the benefits of female ejaculation: increased libido, increased sexual satisfaction, and deeper intimacy.
Even for those who know about the potential pleasure of female ejaculation its power to work at the level of emotions is yet to be ordinary knowledge. Most body workers know that emotion gets stored in the soft tissue of the body and this includes the tissue of the genital area. In some circles this is called genital armouring and serves to create an experience of disconnect, numbness, fear, contraction, or just general icky feelings when touched.
The G-spot tissue tends to become a repository for unexpressed and deep emotions such as: rage, shame, fear, guilt and when combined with negative sexual experiences – including premature penetration, non-consensual sex, abuse, assault and rape – it can be a highly sensitive area needing tender care and connection.
Working with the G-spot is not the first port of call on a sexual healing journey – it requires we have clear healthy and communicated boundaries in place, that we know what we want, how to ask for it and how to receive it and the loving patience of a skilled practitioner or partner to be present with us with whatever emerges. But once we are equipped with our yes’s and no’s in place, our desires expressed and a high level of relational safety – then deep clearing of this can unfold.
In educating women about her ability to ejaculate, she becomes empowered to experience the full potential of her sexuality. She becomes connected to the source of her own wisdom, to the power and potential to heal and to the deepest essence that resides within her.